The First Rule of Not Being Seen

I guess what's bugging me today is some dealings I've had recently with people. Let me ask the question: Just how much do you need to know to put "Computer Skills" on your resumé? In this new digital age, where everyone thinks that technology is a panacea, why doesn't anyone know how to use a computer?

Plenty of people tell me that they are a "computer idiot", or "computer illiterate", but my favorite is being asked a computer question and hearing the phrase, "my <insert relationship here>, who knows all about computers." This so-called expert is usually a semi brain-damaged individual who would call a proctologist if the needed a well dug. I was in Knoxville, TN for training not too long ago, and upon arrival at the hotel I was called by my wife who was frantic because her laptop wouldn't work. She knows enough not to take anything apart or do anything until I see it, or I am at least on the phone. So I told her, "I can't do anything from here. Whatever you do, don't let <insert name of Technical Director at her place of employment who can't find his ass with two hands and a GPS> touch it." The next day I got another phone call that aforementioned tech-tard got her computer up and running by re-installing Windows and that all of her programs are gone.

A month later, I was back in Knoxville and on my way home when it happened again. This time, meat-head wanted to format the drive and reinstall everything. Considering that my wife's entire final project which she had six hours of work on was still on that drive, she was reluctant and called me. "Don't let anyone touch it." I said. "If anyone other than me does anything to that laptop, I'm not going to fix it." meat-head told her that her data was gone, I said I could get it back and took the next day off to prove it. One magic utility, fdisk, a copy of Symantec Ghost and a new hard drive later, I had all of her data recovered, a new system installed and a clean ghost set up on her machine. My heart nearly exploded when she told me the conversation the next day with tech-tard.

"So, do you still need me to reinstall your computer?"

"No, my husband recovered all of my files and installed a new system."

"What?!? How did he do that?"

"I don't know, he's just a genius."

This man has certifications, and makes about twice what I do in a year. How can a so-called "expert" be so ignorant that he can't even use Google to find a utility to read a drive without a partition?

Second, If you put down "computer skills" on a resumé, why are you asking me how to check your e-mail in Outlook? Why do I have to show you how to use Word?

To make a parallel: Say I'm working for a construction company. On the first day, I'm told to frame an 8' section of wall. I reply that I don't know how. The foreman shows me how to use the pneumatic nail gun without ending up a "World's Funniest X-Rays" candidate and I make the wall. The next day, again, I'm told to frame a section of wall. So I get the nail gun, and it doesn't work. I bitch for a minute on how this thing is a piece of crap and my foreman kindly shows me that it has to be plugged in to the air compressor to work. I get my task for the day done. Third day: I make sure everything is right, and I can't get the wood to stick together. The foreman explains to me that it needs to be refilled every once in a while. So, I launch into a tirade about how I shouldn't have to put up with this, and I have construction skills, and I should have someone else to do all of this hard stuff. At this point, I am promptly fired for not learning the tools to do my job properly.

How is this the same? IS/IT people end up having to explain a somewhat basic tool to ignorant people who got a job based on the fact that they said, "I know how to use a computer." My thought is that if you don't know how to use a computer, and you interviewed for and received a computer-based job, you should be fired for lying on your resumé. It's not the job of IT and IS to acclimate you to the basics of your job. I'm happy to help if you don't know how to do something in Excel or Word, or better yet, Access. But showing you that just because your icon isn't on the desktop, doesn't mean that it's not installed (aka. looking in your Start Menu) isn't part of my job.

Take a class at night. Most employers will reimburse you for it. It's worth both of our time. I'll even help you with the class if I know you're taking it Learn to do your job. I can't do both of ours. Thank you for your time.

Wow, almost a year since my last post. All of my avid readers (no one) probably missed me. Oh well, this has been an eventful year. I started a new job last October, I'm moving into a new house now, I had to put my dog down (The one from here). The dog is a story unto herself, and I will wait to write that. I just wanted to write a quick note so that I don't disappear into oblivion.

It's been three months already!? Where did my time go?

As an update on the kittens, Momma (Maggie) is now living with my brother-in-law. Nadia was adopted, and it turns out she had an eyelash inside of her eyelid that kept cutting up her cornea. So, $1500 later, that was fixed and she's doing great in a new home. Anna has also been adopted to someone in Toledo. My brother-in-law is also thinking about getting Guido. So, all-in-all... not too bad.

My dad had a heart attack and was life flighted to the Cleveland Clinic. He's doing great now. I can't say enough good things about the staff at the Clinic. Everything was top-notch. It was a couple of scary days though. He's not completely out of the woods yet. He still can't put any kind of stress on his heart or he goes into V-Tach. So, one of the (many) local hotels has let my parents buy a pass to use their pool for his physical therapy.

The doctor said it was a genetic defect, so my dad found one of my grandmother's blood siblings (she was adopted at a very young age). Serious heart problems are in my family history, so I will soon be seeing a doctor to have my heart looked at.

Other than that, everything seems to be getting back to normal. My wife is continuing her quest for her Masters degree, work is good for me, and we're just staying afloat. I don't know what God has planned, but I'll find out.

I've had this overwhelming feeling like something very important is going to happen. Whatever my decision is will have a serious impact on my life. It's not like an "impending doom" kind of feeling, but it's the same strength and type of feeling. I don't know why, but my life is coming to a head.

I need more caffeine, so I'm off to find my Diet Coke. Until later, Cheers!

First, How stupid do you have to be before this seems like a good idea? I learned the perils of dealing with gasoline many years ago. A couple of years ago, one of the members of the Bob and Tom Show said, "gasoline doesn't burn, it explodes." That was even the theme of hazmat training I taught last year. It's not a flamable liquid people... It's an explosive. Unfortunately, (and I say this often,) modern medicine has progressed beyond the point of natural selection. Now, I don't wish death on these people, but seriously, they will be saved and have children someday... What scares me most is that these people survive and are likely to do stupid things again and hurt someone else instead of themselves.

Second, the rescue shelter where we got our cat Rocky has agreed to post the kittens on their site for free if we will act as "foster" homes for them until they are adopted. All of our pets are from shelters except Gus who was rescued as a kitten when he was dumped near the school.

Last, I went to the 12:01am showing of Star Wars: ep3. I liked it. Yoda was a badass with a lightsaber, R2D2 is much cooler and useful instead of just sticking a probiscus into a socket and turning. I won't post any spoilers, but the battle scenes were amazing, as was all of the CGI.

Have a nice Tuesday.

Tony died today. The little grey and white blob, the runt, the last one to open his eyes. Dead. It was amazing how fast he progressed into the sweetest and the smartest of the group. He was inquisitive and fearless.

I'll preface this with a bit about my dog Haley. She's retarded. Not just in the sense that she's not a very smart dog, someone literally beat her so hard they caused brain damage. She's got a whole row of teeth missing on the top, scars all over her head and half of her tongue is limp from nerve paralysis so it hangs out the side of her mouth. She's an Aussie Shepherd/Chocolate Lab mix. Sweet, Hyper, dumb.

For whatever reason she's been obsessed with the kittens. The only time we brought one close to her she tried to grab it in her mouth with a quick snap like taking a squeaky toy. We've kept her away since then. Until today.

Tony figured out how to climb the gate to the cats' room. I was in the bathroom and couldn't get to him to stop it, My wife was one room over. We figure Haley caught him at the top of the gate and "squeaked" him. He writhed on the floor spraying blood all over from his mouth and nose. I tried to clean him off and tried CPR, but his ribs were crushed. I watched his heartbeat stop. Just before, he tried to meow and only blood came out.

I wrapped him in an old Zildjian shirt that was almost a rag anyway and buried him with a prayer. The only proof of his existance otherwise is a couple of digital pictures.

Haley of course has no idea why she was in trouble and has to be locked up during the day now. I guess that's the kicker. There was no reason other than curiosity and sheer ignorance. Curiosity truly killed the cat. I'm stunned and numb.

So, sleep tight sweet prince, I'll see you on the other side. I'm sorry.

Antonio Vivaldi April 11 - May 12, 2005

"Could you pull forward, please, and we'll bring your food out to you?" I'm going to reach through the window and strangle the next person that asks.

I had a busy weekend. My wife was sick all weekend, so I took care of her, we drove 120 miles to my in-laws to pick up half a cow's worth of beef (We're set for the rest of the year... sweet.) Turned around, drove 120 miles back. Sunday we needed to get groceries. So, we ended up eating fast food a lot this weekend.

So, tell me, Mr. McDonald's employee... Why on Earth would I want to pull forward? While I appreciate the fact that I'm getting piping hot fries, Why does the person behind me get to stay at the window and get theirs first?

Now, I'm not selfish, I hold the door and let people in front of me in traffic (More than I should according to my wife). My complaint is: I was here first, I paid first, just give me my friggin' fries! Now, to be fair, some places will ask you to pull forward, and make sure to bring you your fries first... That's just as asinine. Why did I have to pull forward in the first place? I don't mind waiting for hot fries, the guy behind me doesn't mind waiting either... He's already paid. Why should I move forward? Everybody is used to standing in line, I have to stand in line at the gas station behind the guy who wants to use an out of state, third-party paycheck to buy $20 of gas, a carton of USA cigarettes and a mega millions ticket. What's the big deal?

Next on the list is Fazoli's. OK, there's nobody behind me, the ordering intercom is a good 4 car lengths behind me, why am I pulling forward to wait for my food? Oh, look... Here comes the guy with my food, I'm glad to be served first in line, but since there was nobody behind me... Never mind that this is the most inept Fazoli's on the face of the planet. (They've combined my order with the person behind me, and after asking the whole line of us to pull forward and wait, given my food to someone else) (Twice) (and it was wrong when I got it, both times).

What's the moral of this story? It's obviously faster for them if they can push 5 cars through in two minutes by asking people to pull forward, but is it really faster for all of us?

The next time you're asked to, "please pull forward," Just say, "No."

I was thinking about an icon or logo for myself. I don't want to use my picture... I don't really have anything fantasy-ish that I relate to... I don't really relate to anything except obscurity. I seem to be a zeitgeist. The problem is, I don't know what one looks like. I've always related better to people that are at least 5 years older than me... In a sense I'm already 30 and have been for at least 7 years. I share much of the progressive inquisition of my generation X, but with some of the quite reflection and caution of my parents. We're all just a product of our upbringing. I have my self-identity, I am secure with who I am and what I have done in my life... I just can't find the right words to describe myself. I can't be iconified.

I seem to be more actions and less "me" lately. It's like my whole existance is nothing more than a collection of tasks. If I do my job right, it's invisible, and things just work. It's strange to think that the less feedback you get, the better you are doing your job.

Someone dropped off a pretty calico at the horse barn where we board. She had her kittens about two weeks ago, and the opened their eyes on Thursday. It's been relatively warm, so every now and again my wife and I would peek in to see the little babies.

This past weekend, the temperature was supposed to drop from 78 degrees (25.5 C) to well below freezing. So, while the weather outside poured down cold rain, the wind whipped and slush dumped out of the sky, Mama and babies (all five) were safe and warm inside my garage. I used up all of my kerosene to keep the garage warmer than the house all weekend just because I couldn't bear the thought of five kittens freezing to death.

So, now I have the mark... The invisible tattoo on my forehead that can be seen by stray animals at 100 yards. It says, "Sucker."

I'm not ashamed, my parents have the same marks on their heads too. I suppose it's hereditary. My parents are going to take Mama if we can find homes for the babies (Shouldn't be a problem.) Three little girls and two boys. In keeping with tradition (both of our cats are named for composers) we've named all five:

Color	Sex	Name	Composer
Black and White	F	Nadia	Nadia Boulanger
Grey Tiger Tabby	F	Scarlet	Vincent Scarletti
Calico	F	Anna	Anna Magdalena Bach
Grey and White	M	Tony	Antonio Vivaldi
Brown and black tiger tabby	M	Guido	Guido D'Arrezzo (Monk who created Solfenge tones) (Do, Re, Mi... = Solfenge)

We may keep Guido, but I'm not sure yet... I think we have enough pets as-is. Anybody want a kitten?

In case you're wondering, our two cats are Gustav "Gus" Mahler and Sergei "Rocky" Rachmaninov.